Doubt

This has got to be my biggest flaw, my greatest downfall. I don't really recall a time when I have not struggled with my belief in myself and the people around me. Through various experiences I've developed a need to hold back my trust, myself, and my faith in myself and others.

So how do you overcome this? I've struggled with days where I look back and don't see myself in a single moment of things, just a shadow choked up by insecurity and a fear of ulterior motives and petty circumstances. When did I become so afraid of showing my thoughts and feelings that I turned into someone I didn't really know?

The past month has lead me in directions that are getting me back to my roots and alleviating some of my insecurity. I've been able to distance myself from the situations and conflicts that have debilitated me and I've been regaining the strength to see that, while not everyone will love me, there are people who do. Being self-analytical is important in life, but I've found the strength lately to understand that it cannot always be my fault. I cannot bend to every passing whim of the people around me and I cannot blame myself when, despite my best efforts and my truest intentions, they are still unsatisfied.

I've allowed doubt to keep me from being the coworker, friend, performer, and person I truly want to be and am capable of being. And the biggest step forward I've taken lately is to just relax into things and accept that it's okay to trust myself and open up to others. Plus I've lost a lot of time I could have spent enjoying myself worrying about silly, stupid problems that might have gone away if I had simply let go and lived.

xoxo